Something feels off

My last few big posts have mainly consisted about my health with PCOS.
This thought in my head just doesn't sit right.
I had to have an ultrasound to check for cysts in my ovaries. The scared little girl I am, asked my mom to go in with me. I was nervous, uncomfortable and my mind was going numb.
Just blank and airy and open.
I layed on that stretched out bed, watched my mom sit in the chair beside me, rolled down my pants and prepared myself for what was coming.
I went into this appointment with no expectations of the outcome. I went into the Doctor with a hormonal imbalance concern and came out with a syndrome, I was not about to let myself down again.
The moment the nurse touched me, a billion thoughts overloaded my brain.
This is when I saw myself, in the future, in the same spot, with my mom.
I saw my future pregnant self, laying there, jellied belly and all, holding none other but my mom's hand.
I felt warm, and comforted and it all felt right. It felt complete.

My fear of being alone is nothing new. It is not from any medication, it is not from my syndrome, it is me. All me. It is one of the few things these days that I know is all my own. I don't think I'll be a crazy cat lady, partly because I'm a dog person and partly because I just can't see it in my cards. But, I always think that when I'm older, I'll for some reason be alone. I know it's absurd.

After seeing this picture of me and my mom and my pregnant ultrasound pictures, I started to wonder where the other half of my baby was. Subconsciously, he wasn't to be found. Wasn't even made up.
In my vision I wasn't worried, I was overjoyed actually, and everything felt complete.

This is where I stand on what I saw; If I'm subconcsiouly reproducing without someone, then am I subconsciously self-sabbotaging any possible relationships (with friends or with men) because I already think I know I'll be alone later?
I've watched my thoughts and my words much closer since that ultrasound last week.
It's iffy, but I think that it was slowly happening..
I creep myself out.