I did a terrible thing the other day.
As of this school year, I've been striving to never ever be "the flake" friend again.
Until the other day when I flaked on someone who I never suspected to flake on. Lacie.
I was supposed to spend the first few days of my Spring Break with her, and I realized on the morning I was supposed to leave that I wasn't going to follow through with my plans. I got this overwhelming feeling of "NO" in my stomache, and I had to listen to that, my gut is on most occasions pretty in tune with future feelings.
After breaking the news to her, and my reasoning (which I won't go into on here, but overall it wouldn't have been a good atmosphere and I knew it would be a highly uncomfortable visit for me) as to why I was now planning on going home straight away, I had this other feeling in my stomach.
Part of it probably being a result dissappointment and anger she was sending my way, and part was guilt. I almost second guessed my decision to go to Denver first.
I've since apologized more than once daily and explained my reasoning multiple times, and she says she's understanding of my feelings, but I still feel guilty. I don't want to be the flake again and I sure as hell didn't want to dissappoint someone who is at this time so vulnerable and confused.
Why is this happening when all other aspects in my life are actually positive for once?
No comments:
Post a Comment