Beggin

There's this fire lately, 

flames licking the end of my soul

aiding my distance, 

I stare into the depths of this beast, I see what it wants and I refuse to give in fully

but a part of me still melts, and I turn back on the strength I've been working so hard to build 

we dance, the fire and I, to a passionate tango

back and forth for days, almost letting go of my hands mid-spin

glaring down on me, waiting for my back to break as I fall

and somehow, at the last possible second, I catch myself

I compose myself, get back on my feet, and reach out for more

This is where I am comfortable, this tango of hell

it's not where I'm happy or healthy, but it's familiar

too familiar

I try to dance away, a solo rendition

but it's never as satisfying as the warm touch of that fire